So let me first fill everyone in on my life since its been a month. In my last blog I mentioned how I lost my job that I had for 3 years. Well 72 hours before I was going to be 100% unemployed I got a job offer. I worked at this job for 3 weeks and got fired. I was furious how could they do this I worked over 40 hours a week every week, filled in every shift, came in early and stayed late. I walked out sat in my car and cried. God used one of my coworkers to speak 100% life in my situation. I was shortly offered a job right after I was fired but of course I was quickly shown that wasn't where God wanted me.
A couple days later us praxis 9 students and Jena headed to NY. Man did I learn a lot .....Like I'm a control freak, Ministry does not allow you to be a control freak and know what's going on every moment, I suck at listening, Ministry is not all glitz and glory sometimes it looks like organizing a 1000 books when you have a migraine and you feel like you ate lava because your stomach hates you at the moment. Also New Yorkers don't use blinkers but they do use their horns and "hand signals", and you have to drive with faith (Hey did I mention how thankful I am Jena drove) Any who let me get back on track. Some people are natural leaders (point A Sarah Crump) but sometimes God wants us to back down and help other people learn that they are too and you never allow those moments to happen for them. My whole trip I had to learn to be submissive to what God wants in my life...I was the driver in my life and I only pretended like "Jesus took the wheel". I had to learn that God is in control my plan everyday is only plan B.
Im now on day 17 of being unemployed and guess what! I have such joy and peace in my heart. Yes am I looking at the 800 dollars of bills that need to paid and saying God I have about 775.00 till January 1st and that leaves me in the negative with no food or gas money. BUT Wanna know something amazing? When God made the earth he just did it he didn't worry he just did it. Guess what! Same for my life everyday things just happen whether it be a lunch bought/ made for me, finding money in random places, or a random gift card. Things just fall in place. But what if they weren't...could I still say God you are perfect in ALL of your ways.....YES even though I feel like I'm looking at a map and saying God where the heck do you want me to go!?!?! He already knows the route and its literally taking one step at a time and EVERYDAY casting my cares to the Lord.
It hasn't been easy yes 95% of the time I'm fully trusting in the Lord, but yes there has been moments of weakness and crying out to God BUT every time I do some how some way Jeremiah 29:11's theme is brought to my attention. He knows the plans and when I feel like I just don't know where to go he has it. When the devil smacks my mistakes in my face HE TELLS ME WHO I AM.
So DONT GIVE UP, its hard but let him take the wheel its so much easier, I use to take trips to the ABC store every time something went wrong and guess what my problem was still there any now I had a hangover...Now I take a trip to my knees (ya its corny get over it) and HE gives me peace like no other!!!!
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